Luxury items are supposed to make a statement, but some take things to such extremes that they’re almost laughable. I mean, who really needs a diamond-encrusted water bottle or a solid gold stapler? Sure, these things might appeal to billionaires with money to burn, but for the rest of us, they’re just plain baffling. I can’t help but wonder—what’s the point? Let’s take a look at some of the most over-the-top, wildly impractical luxury items out there. You might just find yourself shaking your head along with me!
1. Gold-Plated Stapler
A stapler might cost you a few quid, but someone decided it wasn’t quite posh enough. Enter the gold-plated stapler, which sells for upwards of £300. Aside from its flashy appearance, it’s still a stapler – no added functionality, just a hefty price tag. For those who insist even their office supplies exude luxury, this item is sure to impress, though it’s doubtful you’ll get your money’s worth.
2. Crystal-Encrusted Toilet Seat
For roughly £2,000, you can outfit your bathroom with a toilet seat covered in Swarovski crystals. It’s glamorous, but it’s also incredibly impractical. Cleaning something so delicate after daily use sounds like a nightmare. Plus, there’s something uncomfortable about spending thousands on an item that serves such an unglamorous purpose.
3. Diamond-Encrusted Bluetooth Headset
This flashy gadget retailed for over £30,000, yet it offered no improvement over a standard Bluetooth headset aside from its diamond embellishments. Sure, it’s shiny, but wearing it in public feels more like an invitation for thieves than a style statement. Functionality takes a clear back seat to ostentation with this piece of tech.
4. Gold-Plated Playing Cards
For £200 or more, you can own a deck of 24-karat gold playing cards. They’re neither more durable nor easier to shuffle than a standard deck, and their shiny surface makes them surprisingly slippery. Once the novelty wears off, you’re left with a flashy yet impractical item best suited to collecting dust on a shelf.
5. Solid Gold Dog Collar
Pampering your pet is one thing, but spending over £10,000 on a solid gold dog collar is another level of indulgence. Dogs, of course, don’t care about gold, and they’re just as likely to chew on or damage the collar as they are to wear it gracefully. It’s a luxury that seems more about the owner than the pet.
6. Diamond Contact Lenses
If wearing your wealth on your sleeve isn’t enough, why not wear it in your eyes? Diamond-studded contact lenses, priced around £11,000, promise to make your gaze sparkle – at the cost of practicality and comfort. Wearing jewellery so close to your eyes is more than a little risky, and it’s hard to imagine the discomfort being worth the sparkle.
7. Gold-Plated Vacuum Cleaner
For the price of a small car, around £15,000, you can buy a vacuum cleaner plated in 24-karat gold. Despite its exorbitant cost, it’s no better at cleaning your carpets than a budget model. It’s a flashy conversation piece, but for most, a cleaning appliance is better off being functional than ostentatious.
8. Fur-Lined Ice Cream
Why not treat yourself to a £500 ice cream sundae? This dessert is served in a fur-lined bowl, often accompanied by gold leaf and rare ingredients. It’s a status symbol for the Instagram era, but let’s face it – ice cream is ice cream, and no amount of luxury trimmings can justify the price.
9. Solid Gold Shirt
Weighing over 3 kilograms and costing upwards of £200,000, the solid gold shirt is a wearable display of wealth. Unfortunately, gold isn’t breathable or comfortable, making this garment a nightmare to wear for any length of time. It’s a classic example of style – or lack thereof – over substance.
10. 24-Karat Gold Bicycle
At £250,000, this bike is covered in gold and adorned with a leather seat and Swarovski crystals. Despite its opulent appearance, it functions no better than a standard model. Worse, the precious metal coating makes it heavier and less practical for everyday use. Cycling enthusiasts would likely prefer a high-performance carbon fibre frame any day.
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Ellen has been obsessed with logic puzzles, jigsaws, and cryptograms since she was a kid. After learning she was taught how to play chess wrong by a family friend (so they could win), she joined her school chess club and the rest is history.
