Before the days of Instagram, Snapchat, and WhatsApp, staying connected with friends required a bit more effort—and perhaps a bit more creativity. It’s fascinating to think how we managed to keep our friendships alive without the instant messaging and notifications we’re so used to today. Yet, looking back, it’s clear that these old-school methods often made communication feel more personal and meaningful. From hand-written letters to dedicated landline calls, these methods were a reflection of how much we valued staying in touch. So, let’s take a nostalgic trip down memory lane and look at 13 ways we kept friendships strong before social media made things easy.
1. Handwritten Letters
Back in the day, nothing beat the charm of receiving a handwritten letter. Whether it was a simple “thinking of you” note or a long, heartfelt message, letters felt intimate. Writing required thought and effort, and waiting for a reply built anticipation in a way instant messaging never could. Plus, the personalised touch of someone’s handwriting made it special.
2. Landline Phone Calls
Before mobile phones became widespread, people stayed connected through landlines. You’d memorise your friends’ numbers or have them written down in a little book. A good, long chat after school or on the weekend was a ritual. You had to hope the person you were calling was home and that no one else in the house needed the phone!
3. Passing Notes in School
For younger people in school, passing notes was a secretive and exciting way to keep in touch. Carefully folded paper would make its way across the classroom or between lockers, often containing doodles, gossip, or plans for later. It was a fun, low-tech way to maintain a conversation without the internet.
4. Pen Pals
If you had a friend who lived far away, or even in another country, pen pals were a popular way to keep in touch. People would exchange letters, sometimes with individuals they’d never met in person, but the thrill of getting a letter from a friend across the globe was worth the wait. These friendships often lasted for years.
5. Meeting at “The Spot”
Having a designated meeting spot was another way to maintain a friendship. Whether it was the local park, a café, or a friend’s house, people often made plans to meet up at a certain time and place. There were no text reminders; you simply showed up, trusting your friend to do the same.
6. Birthday and Holiday Cards
Receiving a card on your birthday or for Christmas was a small but meaningful way to stay in touch. People would send cards with thoughtful messages, and it became a yearly tradition to exchange them. Some would even go the extra mile by writing long updates inside the card.
7. Party Lines
Before personal phones became the norm, people used party lines—shared phone lines that allowed several people to connect at once. It was like a group call, but anyone in the neighbourhood could hop on, making it a bit awkward and unpredictable. However, it was a useful way to get a bunch of friends on the line at the same time.
8. Writing in Yearbooks
At the end of each school year, yearbooks were passed around for classmates to sign. The messages written inside were a way of preserving friendships, especially if you weren’t going to see each other over the summer or after graduation. Some people kept their yearbooks for decades, cherishing the notes from their friends.
9. Polaroid Pictures
Before everyone had a camera in their pocket, Polaroid pictures were one of the few ways to capture memories instantly. Friends would snap photos and then write little messages on the back to give them away as keepsakes. It wasn’t just about taking the picture; it was about sharing a moment and giving your friend something tangible to remember you by.
10. Hanging Out at the Mall
In the 80s and 90s, the mall wasn’t just for shopping; it was a place to socialise. Groups of friends would spend hours browsing shops, eating at the food court, and catching up on the latest gossip. Without social media, it was one of the main hubs for real-time social interaction.
11. Mix Tapes and CDs
Before the days of Spotify playlists, friends would make mixtapes or CDs for each other, carefully selecting songs that had special meaning. It was a way of communicating through music, often with a personalised cover or handwritten note. These mixes weren’t just about the music—they were about connection.
12. House Visits
Popping over to a friend’s house unannounced was a common way to stay in touch. Without the ability to send a quick text, people would just show up to say hello. It was casual, spontaneous, and a reflection of a time when everything felt a bit more laid-back.
13. Long-Distance Phone Calls
For friends who lived far away, long-distance calls were the lifeline of friendship. The calls weren’t cheap, so you had to make every minute count, often planning what you’d talk about in advance. But hearing a friend’s voice, even if just for a short while, was worth the cost.
Ellen has been obsessed with logic puzzles, jigsaws, and cryptograms since she was a kid. After learning she was taught how to play chess wrong by a family friend (so they could win), she joined her school chess club and the rest is history.
