The 1980s were an unforgettable decade for toys, from blockbuster hits like Transformers to iconic classics like My Little Pony. But for every beloved favourite, there were some truly baffling creations that left parents and kids scratching their heads. These toys were strange, frustrating, or downright dangerous, often disappearing from shelves as quickly as they arrived. Today, they’re remembered more for their shortcomings than their successes. Whether they were poorly designed, unnecessarily complicated, or just plain weird, here are 15 of the worst toys from the 1980s that no one’s nostalgic for.
1. Glo Worm
Glo Worm, introduced in 1982, was a plush toy with a glowing face that lit up when squeezed. While it was marketed as a bedtime companion, the hard plastic inside made it uncomfortable to cuddle. Parents also found that its glow mechanism often stopped working after a few months, leaving children disappointed. I don’t know how I feel about this one being on the list. I remember my Glo Worm. I adored that weird little lightup beastie. I still have it in the loft, and actually, it still works. However, the more I researched, the more I saw that despite its popularity, it was plagued with problems and so is deserving of a spot.
2. Lawn Darts (Jarts)
Lawn darts were marketed as a family-friendly outdoor game, but they quickly earned a reputation as one of the most dangerous toys ever made. These heavy, metal-tipped projectiles (essentially brightly coloured, very sharp spears) were responsible for countless injuries, including some fatal accidents. In the few short years they were available to buy, lawn darts sent over 6,000 people to hospital with significant injuries. The toys were eventually banned in many countries, leaving behind a legacy of cautionary tales. Even the later, safer versions couldn’t shake the bad reputation of the originals.
3. Pogo Bal
The Pogo Bal was a rubber ball sandwiched between a plastic disc, meant for kids to bounce around on. While it looked fun in commercials, in practice it was a wobbly nightmare. Kids found it hard to balance on, and the hard plastic edges caused plenty of bruised ankles and scraped shins. The ball itself was prone to deflating, adding to the frustration.
4. Hugo, Man of a Thousand Faces
This creepy, bald puppet came with various adhesive facial features like scars, eyebrows, and moustaches, letting kids create different “disguises.” Unfortunately, the execution was more nightmare fuel than fun. The blank, lifeless face of Hugo and his uncanny appearance made him more suited for a horror film than a toybox. The adhesives also lost their stickiness quickly, leaving kids with a pile of unusable parts.
5. Roller Racer
The Roller Racer was a sit-down scooter powered by wiggling the handlebars back and forth. It looked like a fun way to zoom around, but the steering mechanism was awkward, and kids often ended up colliding with walls or furniture. It was also nearly impossible to use on uneven surfaces, limiting where kids could play with it. Many parents considered it more trouble than it was worth, especially indoors.
6. Teddy Ruxpin Knockoffs
Teddy Ruxpin was a storytelling animatronic bear that became a cultural phenomenon, but the cheap knockoff versions were another story entirely. These imitations often had shoddy construction and glitchy mechanisms that made them less cute and more terrifying. Some even had malfunctioning mouths that got stuck mid-sentence, turning bedtime stories into eerie experiences.
7. Power Glove
The Power Glove was an accessory for the Nintendo Entertainment System that promised futuristic, motion-controlled gaming. Unfortunately, the glove was barely functional, with clunky controls that were more frustrating than fun. Many of the games meant to be used with the glove didn’t even work properly, making it a waste of money for most families.
8. Boglins
Boglins were rubbery, grotesque puppets designed to look like mischievous swamp creatures. While they had a certain gross-out appeal, their rubbery material deteriorated quickly, becoming sticky and unpleasant over time. They also emitted a chemical smell that made them even less appealing to parents.
9. Slap Bracelets
Slap bracelets were all the rage for a brief time, but their popularity was cut short due to safety concerns. Many were made with sharp metal strips covered in thin fabric, which could break through and cause injuries. Schools quickly banned them, and parents weren’t sad to see them go. The cheaply made versions were especially prone to falling apart after only a few uses.
10. Madballs
Madballs, released in 1986, were squishy foam balls with grotesque faces that quickly became popular. However, their paint often chipped off, leaving behind dull, unattractive designs. They also fell apart with regular use, making them more of a short-lived novelty than a lasting toy.
11. Zips Zap Gliders
These toy gliders were made of flimsy foam and launched by a zip cord, but they rarely flew as promised. More often than not, they crashed straight into the ground or broke apart mid-flight. For kids expecting aerial acrobatics, these toys were a major letdown. Their fragility meant most didn’t survive even a few play sessions.
12. GoBots
GoBots were a blatant attempt to cash in on the success of Transformers, but they didn’t have the same level of quality or appeal. Their transformations were clunky, and their designs lacked the imagination of their more popular counterparts. Kids who got GoBots instead of Transformers were often disappointed. The flimsy joints also made them prone to breaking during normal play.
13. He-Man Role-Playing Set
This set, released during the height of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe popularity in the 1980s, featured flimsy plastic swords and accessories that broke easily. Many kids quickly lost interest when their swords snapped in half.
14. Inflatable Furniture
Inflatable chairs and couches were marketed as fun additions to kids’ rooms, but they were anything but practical. They were prone to deflating, uncomfortable to sit on, and easily punctured. Most ended up in the bin after a few frustrating uses. Even the designs with reinforced seams didn’t last long under regular use.
15. Clackers
Clackers, popular in the late 1970s and early 1980s, were plastic balls on strings that kids would bounce together. However, the hard plastic often shattered on impact, sending dangerous shards flying. They were eventually recalled due to numerous injuries.
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Katy Willis is a writer, master herbalist, master gardener, and certified canine nutritionist who has been writing since 2002. She’s finds joy in learning new and interesting things, and finds history, science, and nature endlessly fascinating.
