Ah, the 2000s – a decade of questionable fashion choices that left many of us cringing at old photos. It was a time when bigger was better, bling was king, and practicality took a back seat to outrageous style. From the schoolyard to the red carpet, these accessories were everywhere, adorning celebrities and average Joes alike. Now, with the benefit of hindsight, we can look back and laugh at the fashion faux pas we once thought were the height of cool. So, dust off your velour tracksuit and get ready for a trip down memory lane as we explore the 15 most ridiculous fashion accessories that defined the noughties.
Von Dutch Trucker Hats
Nothing screamed “early 2000s” quite like a Von Dutch trucker hat perched atop your carefully straightened hair. These mesh-backed caps with their distinctive logo were the must-have accessory for anyone wanting to look “edgy”. Celebrities like Paris Hilton and Justin Timberlake were rarely seen without one, sparking a craze that swept through high schools and shopping malls. The irony? The brand’s namesake, Kenny Howard, was a motorcycle mechanic who would have probably scoffed at the idea of his name becoming a fashion statement.
Oversized Sunglasses
If you didn’t look like you were wearing two small dinner plates on your face, were you even fashionable in the 2000s? Oversized sunglasses, popularized by celebrities like Nicole Richie and Mary-Kate Olsen, took over the eyewear world. These face-eclipsing shades came in all sorts of shapes and colors, often adorned with designer logos on the arms. While they might have offered superior sun protection, they also made everyone look a bit like surprised insects.
Tooth Gems
For those who thought regular jewelry just wasn’t enough, tooth gems offered a way to bling out your smile. These tiny rhinestones were glued to teeth, usually the canines, for a sparkly surprise every time you grinned. Popularized by hip-hop artists and adopted by teenagers everywhere, tooth gems were the dental equivalent of bedazzling. Dentists probably had a field day removing these after the trend faded, much like the smiles of those who wore them.
Belly Chains
Nothing said “I work out” quite like a delicate chain draped across your midriff. Belly chains became a staple accessory for low-rise jeans and crop tops, adding a touch of sparkle to bare midsections. Celebrities like Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears made them a red carpet staple. However, the constant adjusting and risk of getting caught on things made these more of a nuisance than a fashion statement for most wearers.
Juicy Couture Charm Bracelets
Juicy Couture’s charm bracelets were the wrist equivalent of a mood board for the 2000s. These chunky chains came adorned with an array of gaudy charms, from miniature high heels to tiny dogs. Each charm was meant to represent the wearer’s personality, or at least their shopping habits. The jingling of these bracelets announced your arrival before you even entered a room, making them the auditory equivalent of wearing head-to-toe designer logos.
Slap Bracelets
A favorite among schoolchildren and the bane of teachers everywhere, slap bracelets combined jewelry with the joy of mildly hurting yourself. These fabric-covered metal strips would coil around your wrist when slapped against it. The satisfying ‘thwack’ sound made them irresistible to fidgety kids. However, their reign of terror in classrooms was short-lived, as many schools banned them due to safety concerns and their disruptive nature.
Nextel Phones with Clip-On Faceplates
Before smartphones, the height of mobile fashion was a Nextel phone with interchangeable faceplates. These chunky devices allowed users to personalize their phones with clip-on covers featuring everything from cartoon characters to faux crystal designs. The ability to change your phone’s look on a whim was mind-blowing at the time. Of course, all this customization couldn’t hide the fact that you were essentially carrying a brick in your pocket.
Tattoo Chokers
These stretchy plastic necklaces looked like a tattoo wrapped around your neck, hence the name. Popular among teenage girls and boy band members alike, tattoo chokers were the ultimate ’90s holdover accessory of the early 2000s. They came in various colors, but black was the most popular, giving wearers an instant “edgy” look. The fact that they often left red marks on your neck after wearing them all day was just part of the fashion sacrifice.
Toe Rings
For those who felt their feet were woefully under-accessorized, toe rings provided a solution. These tiny bands of metal adorned the second toe, adding a touch of sparkle to flip-flops and sandals. Popularized by beach-goers and bohemian fashionistas, toe rings were often paired with anklets for maximum foot bling. However, the joy of sporting shiny toes was often outweighed by the discomfort of sand trapped under the ring.
Popcorn Shirts
Popcorn shirts, also known as bubble shirts or magic shirts, were a textile marvel of the 2000s. Made from a crinkled fabric that could stretch to several times its size, these shirts were one-size-fits-all in the truest sense. When not worn, they looked like a scrunched-up mess, leading to many a confusing moment in clothing stores. While they were comfortable and convenient, the novelty of looking like you were wearing a bunch of grapes wore off quickly.
Lens-less Glasses
In a bizarre twist of fashion logic, wearing glasses without lenses became a trend. Popularized by hipsters and wannabe intellectuals, these frames without function were meant to make the wearer look smarter or more stylish. Celebrities like Justin Timberlake (yes, him again) were often spotted sporting this look. The trend reached peak absurdity when people started popping out the lenses from 3D cinema glasses to achieve the look on a budget.
Motorola Razr Phone Charms
The Motorola Razr was the iPhone of its day, and no self-respecting Razr owner would be caught without a dangling phone charm. These little baubles hung from a small loop on the phone, ranging from simple beads to elaborate figurines. While they added a touch of personalization, they also had a knack for getting tangled in your hair or pocket. The real irony? These charms often cost more than the heavily subsidized phones they adorned.
Bandana Headbands
Bandanas folded into thin strips and worn as headbands were a unisex trend that swept through the 2000s. Popularized by athletes and musicians, this look was adopted by anyone wanting to add a touch of rugged charm to their outfit. While they were supposed to keep hair out of your face, most wearers spent more time adjusting their slipping bandanas than actually benefiting from them. The trend reached its peak when even formal outfits weren’t complete without a silk bandana headband.
Jelly Bracelets
Jelly bracelets were thin, colorful silicone bands that people wore stacked up their arms. Available in every color imaginable, these cheap accessories allowed wearers to coordinate with any outfit. However, the trend took a controversial turn when rumors spread about different colors representing different romantic acts. This urban legend caused many schools to ban the bracelets, much to the dismay of kids who just thought they looked cool.
Cause Bracelets
In 2004, rubber wristbands supporting various causes became the accessory du jour, turning everyone’s arms into a veritable rainbow of good intentions. These colorful silicone bands were everywhere, with people collecting them like they were going out of style – which, ironically, they soon were. The trend peaked so hard that even pets were sporting these bracelets, presumably to show their support for important canine causes like “More Walkies” and “Down with Vacuum Cleaners”. By 2006, if your wrist wasn’t adorned with at least a dozen rubber bands, each representing a different charitable endeavour, you were clearly a terrible person who didn’t care about anything at all.
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Katy Willis is a writer, master herbalist, master gardener, and certified canine nutritionist who has been writing since 2002. She’s finds joy in learning new and interesting things, and finds history, science, and nature endlessly fascinating.
